A. Honoring of People
B. Part of the Solution
C. Prudence
D. Courage


• pride
• low self-esteem
• ego needs
• short-term thinking
• blaming
• strengths over-applied
• knowledge without transformation

It takes some time to learn that leadership requires our very lives, Galatians 2:20. Leadership in the Kingdom of God may seem glamorous, and while it is full of joy, it is a life of service to others. Nowhere else does the verse, “I must become less while He must increase.” John 3:30 mean more.

Leaders know that the gospel is a two-fold invitation: come to me, Jesus says, and learn to die to yourself, Luke 9:23.

To advance in leadership is nothing more nor less than putting down our presuppositions, surrendering our ego needs, laying aside our wants and best ideas, Proverbs 3:5-6. Simply put, leadership in the Kingdom of God is the responsibility of hearing and obeying the voice of the Lord, Deuteronomy 6:18.

He will ask us to give up our pride and to enter into embarrassment, to be okay with possible failure, and to go forward in simplicity. Where we thought leading would be glamorous we find it is constraining. Where we imagined leading to be noteworthy, the daily work is often done in silence before our Lord.

The secret places, not the out-loud show, is where the core strength of leadership is found. Much time must be spent on our knees before the Lord in order to carry forward with him in the public sphere.

The assignments of the Lord will require much testing and character development. We must be changed before we can ever hope to be agents of change in other’s lives. The quality of our service will be a direct reflection of our heart’s response unto God. There is no way to pretend to be a good leader for time will ultimately and always reveal the truth.

Counter-intuitive to leading is the understanding that one cannot do everything, and so leaders are not so much those able to do many things, but good leaders know how to limit and focus on one primary thing. They know the power or limitations and of careful stewardship.

Good leaders go for depth of faithfulness and allow God to bring any breadth, Isaiah 1:19. Having given up their need for accolades, they serve simply and faithfully, staying true to the Lord upon them and through them. Here, the glory belongs to God. Leaders live for the glory of God and not for the glory of self.



“From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” Ephesians 4:16 ESV

In the honouring of people we come to find that trust is the biggest thing in relationships. We find that working well with others is of top importance. We know that honouring of others indicates an honouring of our Lord. In case we have missed it before, we must understand that the Body of Christ is all about relationships and honouring of each other, working together towards the King’s priorities.

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother … 

Philippians 2:3 “Count others more significant than yourselves … 

1 Peter 2:17 “Honor everyone …

Mark 10:43-45 “Whoever wants to be a leader must serve … 

Romans 12:10 “Take delight in honoring each other …

NOTE: Take the time to look up these verses.


• contempt and disdain of certain kinds of people
• rationalizations about why some are not to be honored 
• no favour with Godly leaders
• blocked influence and ministry
• little fruit
• people feel excluded
• people feel small
• pass people by

The biggest marker of someone who does not honor others are those who do all sorts of ‘good’ things but with an attitude of contempt and disdain for certain kinds of people (the poor, women, servants, the lost, for instance). We would never imagine ministering to Jesus with contempt, disdain, or disrespect beneath the surface of our service, and yet this is the way of ministry for those who refuse to honour all people.

How we get from one to the other:


Sobering TruthsNaked Before GodWe are Changed By the Love of God
–  shock at the depth of judgements and condemnations that flow out of self
–  contrite in spirit
–  we put down our own honour at the feet of the Lord
–  come to repentance
–  once harsh we are nowsoft of heart and speech toward others
–  responsiveness to the Lord’s conviction
–  our heart, speech and manner change
–  we treat others well
–  our resources go the betterment of others


• we recognize the core needs of others
• we minister in compassion and deep respect
• each person is made in the image of God, this we know
• when healing we attend to the whole person
• we won’t take advantage of the weakness of others as we minister 
• we relay the respect and love of our Lord Jesus Christ

STORY: Where I live we honour the elderly, and men honour women. If there are bags to be carried the men carry the bags ensuring that the women are spared the heavy work of this. If there is someone older than us we give our chairs and the best places on a bus or in church to these elderly people.

As I write this my dad is 87 years old and it is from him that I have learned how to honour. Often, when we are in town we will hurry to honour the other. As a man he seeks to honour me as I am a woman. And because he is older than me I seek to honour him.

If we are both entering a store, for instance, we will both be rushing ahead to get to the door first. I am rushing to hold the door open for him, and he is rushing to hold the door open for me.

If we are going somewhere in a car we often argue about who will take the front seat, the seat of honor. I will insist that he takes it and he will insist that I take it.

Each of us are doing our best to honour the other. These are some of my favourite times with my Dad!



“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to
serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 NIV

We are called to be part of the solution for this world. This is different than commenting on the state of the world. When we comment we often feel powerful and strong. Yet, we know that comments change very few things. The problems we face require that we invest ourselves personally and intentionally toward solutions for others and this world.

Jesus taught the disciples to take action and to take responsibility for the problems they encountered. He sent them out to heal the sick and to cast out demons, and when the vast crowd was hungry he told them to feed the people. Instead of just commenting on the problems at hand we are to take action and become part of the solution to those problems.

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things …

Romans 12:21 “… overcome evil with good

1 Corinthians 4:20 “For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk … 

Mark 6:37 “You give them something to eat … * read all of Mark 6:30-44

1 Timothy 5:8 “If anyone does not provide …

Isaiah 59:15b – 16a “he was shocked ….

NOTE: Take the time to look up these verses.


• complaining about all that is wrong in the world 
• unable to see how one can help
• everyone else is to blame
• focussed on self and not the Lord
• lots of talk but little action
• angry and frustrated
• condemning of others who are making a difference
• refusing to take what one has and invest it in solutions for others

The biggest marker of those who refuse to be part of the solution is an embittered spirit and a complaining attitude. So much energy goes to blaming and convincing others how bad they are, meanwhile nothing changes — lots of talk but little ever changes.

How we get from one to the other:


Begin to Step ForwardCleansed MotivesOffer One’s Self
– realize that waiting for others to fix things is a compromised position–  releasing all bitterness, anger and rage, blame, ought and should
–  shifting into 100% responsibility
–  we stop blaming others
–  we take action
–  get on with becoming a part of the solution
–  gives life in service as a solution for others
–  we know God has others well in hand
–  we speak less and act more


• offering oneself as a solution of some sort
• entering into what we might describe as one’s calling
• taking responsibility for problems and creating solutions
• establishing ways forward
• ensure progress, solutions, and hope
• leaders are the sacrifice that enable others to flourish
• building trust
• growing alongside others
• coming on the inside — from within the problem, change from the inside out 
• we come from the place of taking 100% responsibility

STORY: I have a friend who teaches people to hear the difference in the language of those who are at the sidelines of a game watching and the people who are on the field playing the game.

On the sidelines we hear a lot of descriptive language. Those watching a game being played will yell encouragements, criticisms and warnings. Yet, we note that none of these make any difference to the game – encouragements, criticisms and warnings are irrelevant to those on the field playing the game (as analogy to life).

In contrast, those on the field playing the game speak generative language. They are creating strategy together, they are acknowledging each other, they are making assessments based on fact, they are making declarations, and they are putting themselves forward as a solution, they are making requests when something is missing and they are living promises, and commitments to a certain course of action.

Ever since learning about the difference of people who are just watching a game (with much to say about it) and those playing the game (the ones taking action and entering into dynamic partnership with those around them)

I have always tried to ensure that for 1. I am in the game, making requests and offering myself as a solution, and 2. I work with people who are not just commenting (as from the outside) but are within the game, making requests and offerings themselves as solutions too.



“I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and I find knowledge and discretion.” Proverbs 8:12 ESV

Definition of Prudence: care, caution, and good judgment, as well as wisdom in looking ahead. 87

Prudence is part of stewarding our efforts, gifting, calling, projects, and assignments. Anything we might be about requires careful thought and restrained action. We want to advance, we want our projects to grow, and prudence, careful forward movement is required in order for long-term success and good fruit.

Proverbs 27:12 “The prudent sees danger and hides him/herself 

Proverbs 13:16 “The prudent act with knowledge …

Proverbs 8:12 “I wisdom, dwell with prudence …

1 Peter 4:7 “Be self-controlled and sober-minded …

Proverbs 15:5 “… whoever heeds reproof is prudent 

NOTE: Take the time to look up these verses.


• we make short-term decisions
• time is spent putting out fires
• we focus on hiding our mistakes
• much covering over and explaining away
• can see only today
• emotionalism without critical thinking
• caught up in feeding the ego
• running ahead, out of sync with God
• dwindling strength and influence
• unchecked growth (growth that happens too fast)
• without prudence we compromise our strength and safety

The biggest marker of a lack of prudence is running after every new shiny project, an inability to focus and limit one’s movement and ministry. Out of step with God’s timing we easily ruin our gifts and calling in haste. Without prudence we have only short-term thinking and short- term thinking does not work for long-term results or influence.

How we get from one to the other:


Exhausted by Too Much Good StuffFocus NarrowsVision Becomes Specific
–  learning to say ‘no’ to opportunities and ‘good’ things
–  begins to seek the Lord’s direction
– settled into waiting & hearing from God
– stops making promises and false assurances
–  easily ignores temptations to other things
–  knows core calling
–  focusses on core calling


  • constraint and wisdom as we are intent on being in sync with the Lord
  • acting with care and thought for the future
  • intent on increased wisdom andunderstanding Proverbs 8:12
  • we minister with an eye to long-term impactand results
  • we say ‘no’ to quick fix-its
  • we learn from our mistakes
  • we leave dangerous relationships
  • we grow things slowly
  • we know that bigger is not better
  • we gauge success differently than those around us
  • we make long-term decisions

STORY: Because I had experienced trauma as a young child my sense of self was broken down. Because of this I did not have a good sense to remove myself from dangerous situations or from those that would want to harm me.

But, many years ago I read the verse in Proverbs 27:12, “The prudent sees danger and hides herself” and I realized that to live a godly life is to also protect oneself from those who would harm us.

There has been a terrible distortion within the body of Christ around the world. It is this: that women must put up with abuse, degradation, violation, attack, insult, neglect and more. We have not understood that women are made in the image of God. Women have great value and worth and this means that we live in such a way so as to remove ourselves from dangerous people.

A quote from Jimmy Carter, once president of the United States and an advocate of justice world- wide states, “The truth is that male religious leaders have had – and still have – an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter. Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world.”https://www.cartercenter.org/news/editorials_speeches/parliament-world-religions-120309.html

We must give this strength of self to women everywhere. Safety of house and home, of body and soul is a basic human right that must be returned to women and girls. The prudent see danger and hides herself. And the church must support her as she reaches for a life where she is valued and honored, safe from ignorant and abusive people, no matter who they are.



“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed,
for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9 ESV

The definition of courage is to have an open heart, to live from an open heart, to walk in relationships with God and others with an open heart. Key within this is the ability to move forward in vulnerability. We may not know the end result, or even how others may respond to us, but we go forth anyway.

Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart …

Matthew 22:37 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart …

1 Thessalonians 5:21 “Test everything; hold fast to what is good … 

1 Peter 1:22 “ … love one another earnestly from a pure heart 

Romans 10:10 “For with the heart one believes and is justified …

NOTE: Take the time to look up these verses.


• make excuses
• blame others
• avoid responsibility
• focus on show and big numbers
• busy work but not the core work 
• loves the status quo
• no innovation
• churches remain stagnant
• controlling leader
• without an open heart we hide
• no love

The biggest marker of little courage is a closed heart, little authenticity, a lot of insecurity with exaggerations os self — little courage must always take centre stage and hates to share the applause of people. Making excuses, covering over, making rationalizations, and avoiding responsibility and hard conversations are key markers of someone without courage.

How we get from one to the other:


Putting Aside ExcusesStepping ForwardLeads the Way
– fearfully surrendering to the Lord in all things
– unwilling to remain part of the problem
–  pushing through difficulties and obstacles
–  standing against human thought and wisdom
–  hearing the Lords’ voice larger than own or others
–  bears the weight of change and solutions
–  we become a sacrifice as Christ was the sacrifice


• go against the norms and cultural traditions that are in conflict with the heart of God
• grown in bigger thinking that stands against the ‘normal’ human rights abuses of our day 
• have wisdom to apply scripture so that life comes to communities
• uses innovation in the cause of Christ
• our own best thinking is put at the cross
• love boldly
• are not afraid of standing out or, conversely, of working quietly behind the scenes
• stands for justice
• speaks out against abuse
• does not compromise integrity
• comes from a place of taking 100% responsibility
• makes space for others
• we bring our whole hearts to God
• we lead whole hearted — open and authentic with others, generous
• we share the stage and are intent on growing others
• we are free to be seen and able to see others
• expansive leadership

STORY: Some fifteen years ago I was beginning my own inner-healing journey. I was just beginning to open the doors of my heart to the Lord. And I was terrified.

I had been living in lies and less-than for so long that I didn’t know who I was. And as I opened the doors of my heart to God I didn’t know what we would find or who I would be in the end. I still had this idea that God wanted to destroy me, rather than make me brand new.

Thankfully, I had good people around me who encouraged me and made it safe to to do the deep heart work with God. I learned to speak out everything that was in my inner person. The Holy Spirit helped to identify the lies I was living by and the wounds (done to me many years earlier) that were still driving my life. Courage is defined as living open-hearted, and this is what I learned many years ago, and what I teach to many today. 

87 http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/prudence

=>  Now we will learn about Personal Prayer

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